Don Crouse

By Apologist Don Crouse

Introduction

Are you smarter than dirt? My guess is that most of us think we are. Well hold on to your mortarboards, boys and girls, because dirt is a lot smarter than you think. There is one area where dirt has challenged and confounded the collective intellect of mankind for millennia. And I've been trying to figure out a way to talk about this topic for years. Well, I'm not getting any younger and dirt isn't getting any smarter, so I thought it's time to give dirt the opportunity to show us how stupid we really are compared to its basic elemental abilities. You see, dirt has done something that no human has ever done. Dirt has created life from, well, dirt! People can't do that. Sure it had a little help from water, but I can't believe we're still not as smart as mud. However, based on all the science I've looked at, that seems to be the case. So let's take a quick look at life and see if you're smarter than dirt.

By Don Crouse

I thought it might be time to talk about real life. We tend to avoid that when things get difficult.

First, you and I are gonna die. That's the reality of living. It's a reality I don't much like, because I enjoy living my life. Sure, I've messed it up in spectacular fashion on numerous occasions, but I still find time to ask God to forgive me and move on. But I find it's those difficult and challenging times that make life the most interesting. I didn't say 'easy', I said 'interesting'... and probably the most enlightening. Regardless, eventually we’re gonna die.

Second, nothing gets us focused like imminent death. So now we have the severe acute respiratory syndrome coronavirus 2 at our door, also known as SARS-CoV-2. Most people haven't heard of SARS-CoV-2, because all the media talks about is the coronavirus or COVID 19, which is all very confusing for most of us. The actual disease caused by the virus is COVID 19, AKA the coronavirus disease. The virus causing all the trouble is SARS-CoV-2. If it knocks, don't open the door. Does that help? Still worried about death—I thought so.

by Don Crouse
Copyright 2018 Don Crouse

We have the iMac, the iPod, the iPad and the iPhone. Now, I present to you, the iMonkey! It's still in beta testing, but it will work just fine for my purposes today.

So what exactly is the iMonkey? Well, I'm glad you asked (just pretend you actually care). The iMonkey is the smart monkey. I didn't invent it. But it's about time someone marketed it! You probably already have some familiarity with the smart monkey and you don't even know it. It's actually called the Infinite Monkey Theorem.[1]The Infinite Monkey Theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will type the complete works of William Shakespeare. Well, that is something, isn't it? Amazing - especially considering William Shakespeare didn't even do that! The typewriter wasn't invented until 1808. Shakespeare died in 1616. But that doesn't stop the iMonkey! The iMonkey isn't obligated to live by the normal constraints of time and physics. And it doesn't even have to work in reality. It just has to work in principle… because it's only a theory. Of course, in the real world, the iMonkey would never work; but in theory anything is possible, right? Well, maybe not.

By Don Crouse

Researchers from the University of Liège in Belgium noticed that red-bellied piranhas make barking noises when they are picked up by humans. Who knew? Of course they wanted to know why. Ooh, I know, pick me—it's because they don't like to be picked up! (Hopefully that saves the university millions of euros). As it turns out, piranhas bark about other stuff as well—but it mostly seems designed to avoid aggression by other piranhas... and to let people know they really dislike being held. Don't believe me? Ask the researcher with 3 fingers.

But piranhas aren't known for their barking abilities. They are, however, known for their ability to strip a carcass to the bone in a matter of seconds. And while there is probably a great deal of exaggeration in piranha folklore, it's not over their ability to bark. So I've decided I want to be a Christian hungry like a piranha. I want to be known for my bite. I want to bark less and do more biting. And the 'bite' is sharing the Gospel of Jesus Christ with others. The great part about sharing the Gospel is that it actually involves talking—and that's right up my alley.

"Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all things that I have commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age." Amen.

By Don Crouse

Perhaps you're aware that the elephant is the strongest animal on land. Despite that fact, a handler called a mahout uses a modest chain to restrain the elephant; a chain which the elephant could easily break. The curious among you might wonder how this is possible.

When the elephant is a baby, the mahout uses a chain that the animal can't break. Over months of unsuccessful attempts the baby learns the chain is too strong for it to break and finally gives up trying, accepting the fact that any further attempts will only have the same result. As the animal grows, its past failures prevent it from trying to free itself, even though it could now easily break the chain. Those past failures have restricted its current actions and doomed it to a life of bondage. The elephant's great strength has been put under bondage to the seemingly insignificant mahout, who relies on the elephant's acceptance of failure as a means of controlling it.